WHY? Life on the Streets for Many

Today, by the time a child is a senior in high school, 70% have already tried alcohol. 50% will have tried some type of an illegal drug. 40% have smoked tobacco or used a nicotine product. 20% of children will have used a prescription drug for a nonprescription use. Despite these numbers, we look at the broken who live on the street with discourse in thinking, "They choose their addiction which landed them on the street." The relation to childhood drug or alcohol use to adult addiction is overwhelming.

The environment around a teen greatly impacts teenagers choosing to experiment with drugs or alcohol. Violence, physical abuse, sex abuse, emotional abuse all play a role in the temptation of alcohol and drug use. Personality traits such as ADD and ADHD also increase the likelihood of a child trying something that will have a negative impact on them.

If a child experiences trauma at a young age and / or becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, it will change the growth pattern of the prefrontal cortex. That said, the impact will last a life time. Addiction can soon set in and life is forever changed.
The other side of addiction:

On top of the above information, addiction equals a lack of human “meaningful” interaction. In other words, the addicted may interact with other users, but at a very surface level while clean or sober.

Furthermore, the addicted man or woman who lives on the street usually has zero healthy relationships nor knows how to form one while addicted.

So, could adult addiction be a combination of child trauma, lack of relationship? My thought would be yes.

Why? The damaged prefrontal cortex, that was damaged in childhood, is the planning region of the brain. It is where personality and expression originate from. Most importantly for continued use of negative behaviors, the prefrontal area is where decision making takes place along with moderating social behavior.

Knowing how sections of the brain function further verifies that addiction and lack of social interaction and healthy relationships go hand in hand. Especially when you dive into damage to the brain caused by childhood trauma followed by alcohol or drug use.

Many on the street do not know how to have positive connections with other human life. More so, their brain does not know how to cope with life without medicated help. The addicted brain related to childhood trauma does not know how to navigate behavior and life.

Of course, it is much deeper than my above words once you mix in mental illness and depression. That is an entire book on information.

The Escape

I took this photo in 2014 and it remains one of my favorites. 

The look in his eyes is of a faraway place that I cannot relate. His appearance is scattered as are his thoughts. 

He stood outside of a downtown Nashville skyscraper at midnight and he told me that we were standing in a desert. 

His sandy blonde hair floated in the breeze as he went on to tell me about his spaceship and then pointed to the window of a nearby business. Inside was a computer that had a screen saver of a commercial jet on it. He said that was his spaceship.

“This is a man in need. His fear is naked and obvious, but he's lost. . . Somewhere in his darkness. His eyes wide and bleak and tortured.” ― E.L. James

What are you looking for?

Some people who seem lost, also seem to be in amazement by so little and so much...

“You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down” ― Charlie Chaplin

Cheryl the Survivor

There is something to be said about routine. It is often a good thing because it equals sustainability. However, routine is more of a chore when it comes to the same dreadful morning after morning. Add mental illness into the mix and it makes life even harder to face each day. 

Hear what Cheryl had to say below (1 MIN and 30 SEC):

Imagine being a woman and waking up each day in a tent. Imagine not having the ability to put on make-up  or perhaps take that relaxing nightly shower to wind down. You can’t do it. 

The only way you will be taking a shower while camping is if you are inside a state park or staying in a fancy roadside KOA campground. Of course, both places have limits on how long you can stay and both are costly for someone with nothing.

For most homeless in Murfreesboro, a shower is taken weekly at The Journey Home on West Castle Street or perhaps the Pilot Truck Stop.

If you have ever seen homeless men or women at the Pilot Truck Stop or maybe The Flying J, they are not lingering in the parking lot to prostitute themselves, which is what many believe. While that may be the case in some areas, it is mostly a thing of the past as truck stop management attempt to self-police such behavior. So, there is not a reason to hurry the children back to the car.

The homeless are often at truck stops to receive the goodwill of truck drivers who are passing through cities. Many truck stops offer semi drivers a “FREE” shower token for every 1,000 gallons of fuel purchased. Those drivers often give those sower tokens to those in need, which helps in a major way.

Pictured is Cheryl who moved to Murfreesboro when she was about 2 or 3. Yes, like many in our area she is a transplant. Her parents moved her to teach, which both did. One parent taught at Middle Tennessee Christian School and the other at Riverdale. After the death of her mom and the aging of her father Cathy’s mental state became more deteriorated which meant her elderly father was not able to properly control some of her behaviors, all according to Cheryl.

Cheryl has the same routine daily, but she is not close to a shower. So, she routinely gets up dirty and goes to bed dirty. It is not exactly adventurous and it is tough on a woman or a man for that matter.

As for fear, she worries about her safety the most. She worries about being killed more than being dirty. She told me that she has been raped about 6 times. She also talked about how she has been beat up while living on the street.

“The rewards of the wild and the rewards of the survivor go to those who can dig deep, and, ultimately, to the guy who can stay alive.” - Bear Grylls

So long Calvin

So long Calvin Spalding… He was one of the nicest humans I have met in recent years. Always talkative and kind to others. But, he had struggles with health and addiction over the years and I witnessed some of those ups and downs.

At one point, he was living under a bridge and later he lived in a storage unit. He eventually got kicked out of the rental unit because he wasn’t supposed to make his bed there. He then went to a motel, but that got too expensive to remain in. Then, positive things happened and he moved to Christiana.

Just past the City Limits of Murfreesboro he lived in a small home in tranquil Christiana. He would ride his bike from that home to Murfreesboro almost daily to run what he called his errands, or to see friends in several homeless camps offering encouragement at times and on other trips, those friends listening to him talk about his life.

It wasn’t too long ago that Calvin sat by the bedside of Ms. Margarita as she recovered from back surgery after she was released from the hospital. Some of you reading this helped pay for that motel room for Margarita and never knew that Calvin was the friend who helped nurse her back to health. He stayed with her in that dark and quiet room serving her every need.

From time to time I would receive a phone call from Calvin who would tell me he was greatly confused on how to pack up unneeded items to put in his storage unit. He would say, “Scott, I just don’t know what I will need and not need, but I have too much stuff…. Could you help me sort it out?” At times, my wife and I would visit him and help him decide what would be needed for the summer and what could be stored away for the winter. The confusion he often felt about small things was at times, overwhelming.

In 2015 I took a photo of Calvin when he lived under a bridge and he was so proud of that picture. Another person who was homeless told Calvin that she saw his photo online and it was as if he became a celebrity. He smiled so big when he told me that story.

I always called Calvin by the nickname of Mick Jagger, as he told me himself that he resembled the infamous Rolling Stone. He would always chuckle when I called him that.

Calvin turned 56 on June 3rd.

In the end, Calvin was back to living in a tent and at times a motel in Murfreesboro. In the end, Calvin was still Calvin, aiming to make others smile despite his pains of mental illness and heart problems.

“A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory. LLAP”― Leonard Nimoy

Suicide in Tennessee

I met Charles in 2015 while out with my friend Jerry in downtown Nashville, TN.

“My father committed suicide in 2007, several months later… my mom committed suicide, I wish I knew why – I want to figure it out, it would help me – I wish I were there, I could have helped her,” he told me as if he were desperate to find answers.

As I continued to speak with Charles he said that he too thinks about suicide. He then rolled up his sleeve to show me a large scar on his wrist where he attempted to kill himself.

“When people kill themselves, they think they're ending the pain, but all they're doing is passing it on to those they leave behind.” ― Jeannette Walls

According to the Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network, suicide numbers have climbed since 2006, of course our population has also increased, so to get a true idea of the statistics, you would have to look at the percentages, which do indeed show a slight increase.

In 2006, there were 866 suicides in the Volunteer State, which is 14.4% of the population per every 100,000 residents. In 2010, there were 932 suicides or 14.7% per 100,000 residents. In 2015, the Health Department recorded 1,065 suicides or a rate of 16.1% per every 100,000 residents.

People don’t commit suicide because they want to die, they commit suicide because they want to stop the pain, stop the voices they may hear, stop the brokenness in their life… this first has to be understood to simply prevent someone taking their own life.

“Did you really want to die?"
"No one commits suicide because they want to die."
"Then why do they do it?"
"Because they want to stop the pain.” 
― Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star

Charles is from Knoxville, Tennessee but moved to Nashville after the death of his parents. He told me, “Someone stole all of my medication, they even took my blood pressure medicine.” He said they also took his medication for his Bi-Polar Disorder, “I have been off of it for 3-weeks,” he said.

Suicide and mental health or mental illness are closely tied together, as realized by medical experts.

In 2016, the Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network announced the idea of “Tennessee’s Zero Suicide Initiative.” While the idea of zero suicides sounds great, it is an unrealistic goal to strive for – being realistic and understanding the depths of mental illness could be a better idea? Could be.

To be honest, such an idea of ending suicide may give way to less news stories about suicide and less information on the suicide aftermath that families suffer. It concerns me that looking at stopping the rates will possibly give some residents the false idea that suicide numbers are on the decrease, which will possibly allow a family member in the direct line of helping a loved one to have the thought that “It” won’t happen.

Despite my views on “Ending suicide,” the organization is moving forward with their efforts and in fairness, they are putting out more brochures. But are brochures going to cause an impact? My thought is an overwhelming “No.” Education is needed, but so is more accessible help in the field of mental health. We need experts to hit campsites of those suffering, we need home visits for those too depressed to get out of bed, we need more help and we need more volunteers.

As for Charles, I have not seen him since 2015. I do not know how his current mental state is today, nor do I know where he may be living. I just hope he is… living.

Alabama is surrounded by oceans

Mental illness is far bigger than most of us could ever imagine. Thoughts or ideas get locked inside of the brain of the person suffering and they become concrete as to what that person believes to be fact.

“They tried to expand Alabama, but it fell apart,” he told me in a convincing voice. I asked, “Is there anything outside of this area [Birmingham, Alabama].” He then replied, “I don’t think so.” He then suggested that all of the other states are gone and we, where we were sitting, are surrounded by ocean. “If you walk that way [pointing] you’re hitting the ocean and if you walk that way [pointing] you’re hitting the ocean,” he explained.

He fully believed that Alabama was an island surrounded by the ocean and all of the other United States were gone, crumbled away. It went as far as him telling me that if I got on top of a nearby building I would only see ocean for miles.

“People assume you aren’t sick
unless they see the sickness on your skin
like scars forming a map of all the ways you’re hurting.”

― Emm Roy, The First Step

Living on the sidewalk

He was in his sleeping bag on the sidewalk and could not tell me his full name or age. He seemed to not be able to comprehend much, but appeared to be sober.

“Some people think mental illness is a matter of mood, a matter of personality. They think depression is simply a form of being sad, that OCD is a form of being uptight. They think the soul is sick, not the body. It is, they believe, something that you have some choice over. I know how wrong this is.” ― David Levithan, Every Day

Mental Health in a Third World Country

We tried to understand what he was saying when we saw him walking on the downtown streets of Santo Domingo, but he made little sense as his words were slurred together. His appearance was disheveled and his clothing dirty. He was standing in the middle of the road when I walked away.

Mental illness in the Dominican Republic is similar to the problem we face in America. A lot of it goes untreated.

The World Health Organization reported on the Dominican, “With respect to financing of mental health services, this study shows that allocation of resources is very low. SESPAS allocates less than 1% (0.38%) of health care expenditures to mental health services, and 50% of these resources are directed towards Padre Billini Mental Hospital.”

In addition to the one dedicated mental hospital (only 150 beds), there are also 56 mental health outpatient facilities in the country, of which 4% are for children and adolescents only. However, there is no review body to oversee inspections at the mental hospital in the Dominican nor sanctions on any of the facilities that violate a patients’ rights. Furthermore, physical restrain or seclusion of patients is not monitored by any organization in the Dominican Republic, according to the World Health Organization in 2008.

What I found interesting is that the World Health Organization reported that 30% of the patients in the single mental hospital in a rural area of the country, have been patients for 10-years or more. In other words, new treatment for patients is hard to come by. Affective disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorder) and schizophrenia are the most common mental disorders in the Dominican.

Families have stepped up to monitor mental health care facilities in the Dominican. 45 family members have formed committees to defend the rights of persons with mental disorders in the country.

A 2011 report by the World Health Organization showed that the majority of primary health care doctors and nurses in the Dominican have not received official in-service training on mental health within the last five years. So the problems continue to grow. The American Public Health Association reported this year (2015) that residents in low income countries fail to receive care for mental health. The organization wrote, “80% of patients with severe mental illness do not receive necessary care.”

Hello Mr. North

He smiled as he stated to me... "Hello Mr. North." I said, "Hi, do you need a blanket for tonight? It is 33-degrees and that leather jacket does not look warm." He responded, "No, I will be alright Mr. North, I'll be alright. I'm gonna sleep right here. Right here Mr. North."

As he spoke he continuously folded a small piece of paper between his fingers switching from the right hand to the left. "Have you done any drugs tonight?" I asked out of concern. "No, no Mr. North - drugs are not good for you. I was told never to do drugs or drink," he said with a smile.

He called me Mr. North because I was wearing a North Face coat. Mental illness is very much alive on the streets and in homeless communities all over our country. 

I see dead people

"I see dead people," he told me. I asked, "You mean right now?" He said, "Everywhere." It was almost as if I were watching that movie from 1999 called The Sixth Sense. He told me that he has lot's of mental issues that include multiple personalities and schizophrenia. He then told me that he is an artist and he designed the tattoo you see in this photo. The subject changed rapidly. 

Upon diving into deeper conversation, I learned more about the root of some of the issues he deals with, which gave me a better understanding as to why. He talked about his mother committing suicide when he was much younger and his father leaving. He talked about his past drug use, domestic violence arrest and more. The conversation could have easily lasted for hours. You never really know someone until you try to understand them. 

The FBI Placed me here, "No Pictures"

She was sitting only 3-feet from the edge of a busy roadway begging for money. Her cup said "Brain Injury, Homeless, Cancer, Need Food." We did not ask questions, besides "Would you like a Pizza?" She quietly responded, "I don't have any dollars." My friend told her that the pizza is for her, free. She reached for it and I snapped a picture. She quickly held her hand up and stated, "No pictures, the FBI placed me here and are protecting me - they don't want anyone to know where I am." I did not argue. I only took a single photo of her hand in front of her face. Mental illness on the streets of our country is a significant problem. 

Would you like to see my baseball pose?

As I approached this man he told me that he was once in the Army "Special Forces." He then asked me to put in a good word for him at the recruiting office because he just re-enlisted. I told him, "Of course I will." He then said that major league baseball players are paid by the federal government and they are responsible for marijuana. He said that marijuana comes in strands that you carry on your shoulders. He then asked, "Do you want to see my baseball pose?" I said, "Sure." He then showed me (above). "Can you tell the coach I want to play?" I told him I would. He thanked me and I walked away.