Domestic Violence and Rape: Dark Photograph of the Past

If you saw her today, you would never know of her past that holds a brutal memory.

“He was a body builder,” she told me in describing her college sweetheart. Little did she know there was a monster behind his eyes.

After a few months of dating, she noticed John’s temper would easily flair. Sometimes he would jerk her around by her hair or grab her arm. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for Anne Henslee to decide that she needed to end the relationship.

After the breakup and fresh out of college, she returned to her apartment one night to find that John was waiting for her. Henslee stated,  “He was hiding in the bushes and jumped out of the bushes and grabbed my key’s out of my hand - -  he took me into my apartment and beat me up all night long… raped me.”

The attack occurred in Knoxville, Tennessee where she attended college in the 1970’s. Back then, such incidents were not taken as serious as they are today. Too many times the victim would be blamed by police for playing a role in the rape or domestic violence case. Therefore, Henslee never filed charges against John. However, a woman involved in a later relationship with the man did file charges after she was raped. John was eventually found guilty in that case and was sentenced to prison.

Today, Henslee shares her story with middle school and high school students in an effort to educate children before such relationships can lead to abuse or sexual assault.

This is Anne Henslee’s story (Below):

Domestic Violence Hands Project: 

Rutherford County, Tenn. Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center was awarded a grant from Tennessee Arts Commission and Arts Build Communities (ABC) for "These Hands - Hope and Healing," a photographic journal project that showcases domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.

The Tennessee Arts Commission's mission is to cultivate the arts for the benefit of all Tennesseans and their communities. They invest in over 600 nonprofits and schools impacting communities in many positive ways including quality of life, economic development, and tourism.

These Hands photographic project gives a confidential voice to the survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through their hands and their story. With domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, it is so often the hands that inflict the most hurt, violence, and trauma. We are conveying strength, hope, and recovery through our photographic story.

"The harrowing, real-life stories of domestic violence and sexual assault can be difficult to share with our community because the protection of these people is critical, to say the least," said Kara Mischke, Community Relations Manager with Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center. "This photographic journal project is truly going to allow others to connect with these real stories on a whole new level. Art is powerful. Art is healing."

Participating survivor's stories and hands will be unveiled in partnership with the talented photographer, blogger, and radio personality, Scott Walker - www.smalltownbigworld.org. Our story is that hands are for so much more that is positive and good. Hands are for healing, helping, loving, holding, and most of all caring and empowering those around us to make our world a better place.

Hands of the Violent Man

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This photo is the most recent in the Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Center “Hand Project.” The goal is to show the wicked face of domestic violence without actually showing the face of those who suffered.

This woman, who is 53 today, talked about her ex and the violence and torment he caused in a way that would make one vomit. At one point, he broke her ankle so that she could not run from him. When her left ankle finally healed, he broke her right ankle.

To hear a short clip of her story, listen to the audio below: 

“In situations of captivity the perpetrator becomes the most powerful person in the life of the victim, and the psychology of the victim is shaped by the actions and beliefs of the perpetrator.”

— Judith Lewis Herman, "Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence"

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She hides her scars beneath her clothing

Surrounded by trees adorned with thorns in Murfreesboro, Tennessee stands 19 year old Crystal Chaney. The Alabama native is maybe 100 pounds on a day she has eaten a full meal. Crystal and her boyfriend David are homeless. - SCROLL DOWN FOR AUDIO

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Crystal has burn scars on her arms, hands and legs from when her father allegedly poured scalding hot coffee on her. 

You often hear stories about people who have overcome massive obstacles in life, but seldom do you meet the folks who have. Crystal has one of those stories and is on her way to overcoming her past.

She never made it past the 10th grade in school, life was just too much at times and education was definitely the last thing on her mind. She told me that coming home to an alcoholic mother each day was one of the many obstacles she faced. Of course, that is after a day in school where she was bullied by others due to her appearance.

On first glance you wouldn’t realize anything was wrong with Crystal, but her coat and pants are hiding the scars that likely haunt her at night.

At 11 months of age Crystal was hit with trauma that resulted in multiple skin grafts over her childhood years. She told me that her father was mad at her mom one night and poured scalding hot coffee all over her. At the time, Crystal was in a walker.

She told me that her father was sentenced to prison and she has not talked to him… ever. Keep in mind she was only 11 months of age when she received the burns due to the hot coffee.

Letters were sent to her from her father, but her mother was said to have kept the mail never allowing Crystal to see it.

Today, Crystal and her boyfriend David are on the search for a job. Needless to say, that employment could not come soon enough so that the couple can get an apartment that will allow for them to stay out of the cold this winter.

Below is a short interview by Scott Walker with Crystal (4 MIN and 47 SEC):

“No matter what, I would never let the people who wanted me to break see how much damage they had inflicted.”  ― Rachel L. Schade, Silent Kingdom

These Hands and me

The above photo and below description is part of the Rutherford County Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center “These Hands - Hope and Healing," photographic journal project that showcases domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.

These Hands

"I am a survivor of domestic violence and child sexual abuse. This year I used these hands to write A Call for Help and I’m So Sorry."

- - -
Call for Help

"We were battered and abused
because my mother believed my father when he said,
I'm so sorry.

In 1920
when my mother was six
my grandmother
believed it, too.

In 1955
when I was six
my mother stopped
believing it.

Her willingness
}to Call for Help
destroyed the curses
of alcoholism and violence
and restored the blessings
of sobriety and peace."

- - -
I'm So Sorry

"Love indifference
Contempt regret

Where shame and guilt
Is what you get

Of all the lies
It’s a safe bet
I'm so sorry’s
The biggest yet"

- - -
About The Photo:

"By 1957 my mom and I were out of his reach and safe and sound. I was in the Cub Scouts when I made the plaster imprint of my hand. I gave it to my mom for her Mother’s Day gift. She loved it. It was a good day." - John Schmueser ©2017

Domestic Violence: Fighting with the barrel of a shotgun in TN

On Tuesday, I went with Karen Lampler from the Domestic Violence Program in Murfreesboro to visit with a domestic violence survivor who was almost killed when her husband beat her 21 years ago.

After the attack in 1996, Teva Jane Chaffin ended up at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville and her now ex-husband was arrested. He spent 9 years in prison until he was paroled and eventually re-arrested for his role in beating up another woman.

After Chaffin was beat within an inch of her life, she suffered from major brain related injuries that put her on a third grade cognitive level – meaning she had to relearn nearly everything.

The audio interview with Chaffin is below, I invite you to listen to the short 14-minute interview. 

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Above is a photo of Teva Jane while being cared for at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville, TN. 

“In violence we forget who we are.”

— Mary McCarthy

Today, Chaffin spends her time making jewelry, which is her way of healing. You can find her handmade jewelry online at TevaJane.com. Below are just a few of the pieces that Chaffin made. 

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Domestic Violence

His hands helped to defend domestic violence. Today, he writes music and learns from the past.

Domestic Violence has a massive impact on society, all of which is negative. Did you realize, “Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to the police.” Source: Frieze, I.H., Browne, A. (1989) Violence in Marriage.

Never Again

Hands of a domestic violence survivor - Middle Tennessee. 

"Just tell the nurse you slipped and fell
It starts to sting as it starts to swell
She looks at you, she wants the truth
It's right out there in the waiting room with those hands
Lookin' just as sweet as he can, never again"
-Nickelback, Never Again

Domestic Violence: Hands

Her hands, which have always been used to serve others, were busily making spaghetti. However, those same hands have been used in an attempt to block punches from her former husband. Those hands were used to open a prescription pill bottle in an attempt to end the suffering during an eight hour ordeal that started on a drive home.

After she downed the prescription pills in an effort to numb or end the physical pain, her husband yelled that if she died while he was hitting her, no one would find her body.

Looking back to December of 2016, the same man traded his wife for crack cocaine. He then got angry at her for his actions, which was when a beating that lasted for eight hours occurred.

During those eight hours she was punched in the face and chunks of her hair were pulled out. The incident started on the roadway leaving the man’s home where her husband pawned her off. She was beat on the side of the road until a truck driver stopped to offer the couple a ride as they were out of gas. The truck driver failed to realize that the husband was doing the beating.

She wrote, “A truck driver picked us up to get gas and he told the truck driver he picked me up because I got beat up, our 4 year old witnessed most of what happened. At one point he cried and his dad told him he better shut up or he will do the same to him. We finally got home and he knocked me around the bathroom. I was lying on the floor and he kicked me in my face. I tried killing myself by downing some pills. The last thing I remember before passing out was him choking me.”

She closed with, “Now I know that if you get hit once, get out.”

The hands of a 13 year old survivor

Domestic Violence: While taking this photo she told me, "I remember hiding in the closet." Today, she is 13 years old. 

“Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.” 
― Dave Pelzer, A Child Called "It"

Hands

Hands are an amazing thing when you think about all that your hands have been through. Below are the hands of a woman who is raising three children while living in a specialized home for victims of domestic violence.

I am currently working on a big project with the local Domestic Violence Shelter and we are focusing on the hands of those who have suffered from domestic violence.

Hands tell a story, much like the eyes of someone suffering. Hands show scars and life in so many different ways.

I hope to post more details in the weeks to come. I am just excited to be working on such a project.

"I looked at my hands to see if I was the same person. There was such a glory over everything. The sun came up like gold through the trees, and I felt like I was in heaven." - Harriet Tubman, Conductor of the Underground Railroad (1820 - 1913)