Domestic Violence: Like a tree, we grow

Like trees, we continue to grow despite the struggles we face in life. The same is true for those who are victims of domestic violence. Once the violence is in your past, you can continue growing in a positive way.

This is a photo that captures the hands of an anonymous domestic violence survivor in Middle Tennessee.

Former Social Worker Alice Walker once wrote, "In nature, nothing is perfect and everything is perfect. Trees can be contorted, bent in weird ways, and they're still beautiful."

Walker, who worked as a social worker in the 1960's, took part in the Civil Rights movement in Mississippi. She also won the 1983 Pulitzer Prize for her 1982 novel entitled, "The Color Purple."

Domestic Violence: Hands

Her hands, which have always been used to serve others, were busily making spaghetti. However, those same hands have been used in an attempt to block punches from her former husband. Those hands were used to open a prescription pill bottle in an attempt to end the suffering during an eight hour ordeal that started on a drive home.

After she downed the prescription pills in an effort to numb or end the physical pain, her husband yelled that if she died while he was hitting her, no one would find her body.

Looking back to December of 2016, the same man traded his wife for crack cocaine. He then got angry at her for his actions, which was when a beating that lasted for eight hours occurred.

During those eight hours she was punched in the face and chunks of her hair were pulled out. The incident started on the roadway leaving the man’s home where her husband pawned her off. She was beat on the side of the road until a truck driver stopped to offer the couple a ride as they were out of gas. The truck driver failed to realize that the husband was doing the beating.

She wrote, “A truck driver picked us up to get gas and he told the truck driver he picked me up because I got beat up, our 4 year old witnessed most of what happened. At one point he cried and his dad told him he better shut up or he will do the same to him. We finally got home and he knocked me around the bathroom. I was lying on the floor and he kicked me in my face. I tried killing myself by downing some pills. The last thing I remember before passing out was him choking me.”

She closed with, “Now I know that if you get hit once, get out.”

Solitude in Nashville

A quiet place to sit in a big city of noise and music. Love Circle in Nashville, Tennessee. 

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ― Jodi Picoult, My Sister's Keeper

Prayer and fear

Her prayers were growing more intense as the seconds passed by. She was outside of a church under the shelter of a bus stop that lacked seats, she was on her knees.

She is homeless and was praying for help or perhaps a different life. 

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” -Meister Eckhart, German Theologian (1260-1328)

Josh may need your kidney

At the age of 21 in 2009, Joshua Surovey was diagnosed with having a chronic kidney disease.

During what would normally be a simple biopsy to see what exactly his kidney was doing, things went wrong. He nearly died twice and had to receive 6 blood transfusions. Despite the mishap, the kidney problems were still there.

In 2012, Surovey started dialysis and worked hard to get healthy losing 160 pounds along the way. He was also told that he needed a kidney transplant, news that is often devastating.

Surovey said that the journey has been mentally exhausting. His first thought was, "Why me?" He said, "I was down on myself."

However, those feelings of depression soon changed even though the kidney is still needed today. It was as if after the initial shock, a fire was lit underneath Surovey and he had a new found passion to live. Surovey said, "God brought me through this man, honestly." He went on to state, "I'm looking forward to life, I'm living life!"

Lebanese-American artist Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931) once stated, "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Some would suggest that Surovey is on track to stand strong in the near future, while others would agree he is already stronger than most.

While he is happy to be alive, 12 hours of dialysis every single night is quite cumbersome. He has to go through about three bags of fluid nightly. Surovey stated, “Every night, there’s no breaks.”

The fluids to undergo dialysis at home are shipped to Surovey. Two bags of fluids are in one box and the box weighs 35 pounds. Keep in mind, he uses three bags nightly. So, if the 28-year old heads out of town for 5 nights, he has to bring with him a little over 260 pounds of fluids to use in the dialysis machine. In other words, Surovey says that travel is “troublesome.”

Right now, Surovey is not married and does not have children, but that is one of his long term goals. “Everything that I’m doing I’m trying to better myself so I can be there for my family in the long run,” Surovey said. In further discussing the idea of starting his own family he said, “I don’t want to be in a situation where my health is going to decline and I can’t provide for them, so I’m trying to get myself to where I can have a good career at the end of this and start a family.”

Surovey confirmed that he is in need of a Type O donor and that the donor will be able to live a normal healthy life after donating.

The National Kidney Foundation reports that many people who need a transplant of a kidney fail to receive one due to a lack of donors. Right now there are over 101,000 Americans in need a kidney, but only 17,000 people receive one each year. Furthermore, 12 people die daily while waiting on a kidney to be donated.

After donating a kidney, the donor can easily live a normal, full life as if the donation never occurred. Reports also indicate that the donor’s medical bills are fully covered by the insurance of the kidney recipient. If something should go wrong for the donor in the future, their name is automatically placed at the top of the kidney donor list.

Once a kidney is located for Surovey, who currently lives in Clarksville, Tennessee, the procedure will be done at Vanderbilt Medical Center in Nashville. Vanderbilt has one of the oldest and most experienced kidney transplant programs in the United States, having performed over 4,000 transplants since its inception in 1962. According to the Vanderbilt Division of Kidney and Pancreas Transplantation, “The Division was also the first transplant program in Tennessee to introduce the minimally invasive technique of laparoscopic donor nephrectomy for living donor kidney transplants, and now performs the largest number of living donor kidney transplants in the state.”

If you would like to learn how you can donate or to see if you are a match, CLICK HERE today. You can also call the Vanderbilt Kidney Transplant Center at 615-936-0695.