Domestic Violence and Rape: Dark Photograph of the Past

If you saw her today, you would never know of her past that holds a brutal memory.

“He was a body builder,” she told me in describing her college sweetheart. Little did she know there was a monster behind his eyes.

After a few months of dating, she noticed John’s temper would easily flair. Sometimes he would jerk her around by her hair or grab her arm. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for Anne Henslee to decide that she needed to end the relationship.

After the breakup and fresh out of college, she returned to her apartment one night to find that John was waiting for her. Henslee stated,  “He was hiding in the bushes and jumped out of the bushes and grabbed my key’s out of my hand - -  he took me into my apartment and beat me up all night long… raped me.”

The attack occurred in Knoxville, Tennessee where she attended college in the 1970’s. Back then, such incidents were not taken as serious as they are today. Too many times the victim would be blamed by police for playing a role in the rape or domestic violence case. Therefore, Henslee never filed charges against John. However, a woman involved in a later relationship with the man did file charges after she was raped. John was eventually found guilty in that case and was sentenced to prison.

Today, Henslee shares her story with middle school and high school students in an effort to educate children before such relationships can lead to abuse or sexual assault.

This is Anne Henslee’s story (Below):

Domestic Violence Hands Project: 

Rutherford County, Tenn. Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center was awarded a grant from Tennessee Arts Commission and Arts Build Communities (ABC) for "These Hands - Hope and Healing," a photographic journal project that showcases domestic violence and sexual assault survivors.

The Tennessee Arts Commission's mission is to cultivate the arts for the benefit of all Tennesseans and their communities. They invest in over 600 nonprofits and schools impacting communities in many positive ways including quality of life, economic development, and tourism.

These Hands photographic project gives a confidential voice to the survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through their hands and their story. With domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, it is so often the hands that inflict the most hurt, violence, and trauma. We are conveying strength, hope, and recovery through our photographic story.

"The harrowing, real-life stories of domestic violence and sexual assault can be difficult to share with our community because the protection of these people is critical, to say the least," said Kara Mischke, Community Relations Manager with Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Center. "This photographic journal project is truly going to allow others to connect with these real stories on a whole new level. Art is powerful. Art is healing."

Participating survivor's stories and hands will be unveiled in partnership with the talented photographer, blogger, and radio personality, Scott Walker - www.smalltownbigworld.org. Our story is that hands are for so much more that is positive and good. Hands are for healing, helping, loving, holding, and most of all caring and empowering those around us to make our world a better place.

One Hundred Pounds of Weed

He perked up when he told me about his past, “I went to school with Randy Owens where I grew up in Alabama.” For those who are not familiar with the old school country music charts, Owens was tops in his game during the 1980’s and 90’s as he performed as the lead singer of “Alabama.” As the homeless man continued to talk he said, “He’s a couple of years older than me.”

We then started talking about his past. “In 1976 I went to prison after I got caught with 100 pounds of marijuana.” Ironically, the arrest happened in Colorado where it is now legal to smoke pot. “At one point, I owned two houses,” he told me. “I bought the weed off of shrimping boats in Florida,” he explained. He ended up spending four of an eight year sentence behind bars in Colorado.

This past May he was asleep outside of a Chattanooga gas station when unknown persons attacked him. While sleeping, he was beat with a brick and his legs and ankle jumped on to the point of breaking. He spent three months under medical care while in the hospital and later rehabilitation.

They never found who assaulted him, but he lives with the scars of it daily. In fact, his heel even had to be reconstructed which leaves him in pain when walking.

“Given a choice between grief and nothing, I’d choose grief.”

— William Faulkner

Arson X2 = Prison Time

Raymond asked, “Do you know who I look like?” I said, “No, who?” He smiled, “That guy on Breaking Bad.” I laughed a little, “The professor? Yes, you do!”

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He then talked about his stay in the state prison. He was sentenced to 15 years for a double arson case a number of years back. Evidently, the wrong people tricked and beat up Raymond. In revenge he burnt down their two mobile homes, one of which was new.

Without skipping a beat and owning up to the crimes as he talked, he said that alcohol was a factor in his decision making process.

After getting out of prison he met a girl and eventually met a second significant other called meth. “I’m getting off it,” he told me. In fact, Raymond has been clean since the first of February.

“I am more afraid of alcohol than of all the bullets of the enemy. ”

— Stonewall Jackson

Working and Dreaming at 20 in Chattanooga

At age 20, most of us are thinking about our evening plans or who we will be dating on Friday night. Most of those under the age of 22 or so are not thinking about moths to feed.

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This young lady lives in the Chattanooga area and walks to work daily. Captain D's is her employer and she works hard to make others smile who visit the chain restaurant.

At home she leaves her 3-year-old with a babysitter while she saves her paycheck with a dream that may not be too far ahead.

Here dream… to own her own house.

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”

— Walt Disney

Quiet Midnight Street

On a quiet midnight street.

"I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside
I wanna reach out
And touch the flame
Where the streets have no name"

- U2, 1987

Different

LasVegas: It looks like a unique design from the funky 1970’s with wood to match a Frank Lloyd Wright home. Of course, Wright would have designed it to be a suspended square box, which is why I said designed in the 70’s.

The restaurant is called Mastro’s and it is known for both steak and seafood. As for the costs, a steak with two sides will set a guest back about $65.

Inside the restaurant is an automated sound environment with music or sounds pumped in to make you feel more alive. The JBL speakers powered by Crown Amplifiers are invisible to the guest, but the sound quality is far from lacking. Mastro’s has a total of 46 speakers.

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”

— Virginia Woolf

NASHVILLE: Madness within the camps

“I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.”

— Kahlil Gibran, The Madman

INSPIRE: Tennessee man diagnosed at 32 with Parkinson's Disease

On February 14, 2018, I sat in my car in the pouring down rain as I focused on a man who refused to give up hope. At all costs, he was going to fight a disease he had been diagnosed with a little over ten years ago as if he were in the ring with Muhammad Ali. 

“Don’t count the days, make the days count. ”

— Muhammad Ali

Jason Neely grew up in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. He was into sports, adventure and fun just like any teen. But, things slowed drastically by age 32. He even contemplated suicide.

Neely, who is 43 years old today, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease at age 32. Despite the lifelong problem, he is encouraging others to never give up.

Hear the full 13 minute interview below:

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Above: Photos taken during Jason's brain surgery in 2013.

“Don’t imagine the worst… If you imagine the worst and it happens, you’ve lived it twice.”

— Michael J Fox, diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1992

Need more information? Visit the Vanderbilt Parkinson's Disease Center by clicking here.

Walking through the past

Urban Decay: I always find myself treading extremely lite as I enter older decaying buildings. Even if I am walking on a concrete floor, I almost tiptoe as I step over relics of a past life or time.

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“Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun”

— Written by David Gilmour & Richard Wright, Pink Floyd, "Time"

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Rebuilding lives in Tennessee after job loss, pain pills and heroin

Imagine losing everything, battling an addiction and eventually living in the woods. That is basically what happened to Audrey and Steven. The loss of a job followed by pain pills which lead to heroin are just some of the details. 

Hear their story below (5MIN and 37SEC):

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Steven walking back to the camp via the railroad tracks coming from town. 

“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. ”

— Martin Luther King, Jr.

Above are photos from inside their campsite. 

Living in a Small Town

Knocking on random doors in small town America is always interesting... Just aiming to capture life unexpected is the goal.

She has lived in Shelbyville, TN for nearly 50 years… She said, “Ever since ’69.” When I talked to her about others who live in Shelbyville she stated, “ I don’t socialize with nobody too much, so I guess it’s good – I don’t have nothing else.”

I asked her son to describe Shelbyville and he simply said, “It’s a’ight, it’s alright.” When I spoke of crime in the quiet southern community he responded, “I don’t know nothing about no crime around here”

“This is a small town, so everyone talks. Ironic, isn’t it—so few people, so many opinions?”

— Katarina Bivald, "The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend"

Without legs, but not without dignity

Perhaps you have seen Thomas Bauguess outside between Walmart and the Stones River Mall in Murfreesboro, TN. He sits on a small bucket with two prosthetic legs.

Thomas who is homeless, says that he lost his legs in Iraq while working as a contractor for the government and because he was not actually in the military, he does not receive help from the VA. Instead, he receives a basic disability check. However, the check is not enough to receive approval for an apartment or trailer.

Some have made fun of Thomas suggesting that he goes home each night to a well-lit house.

One person even made a video of him waking up in the morning. That video was then placed on Facebook where multiple persons made comments that hurt both Thomas and his wife.

Thomas owns two trucks that were given to him after his aunt passed away. While the trucks maybe a distraction for those passing by, Thomas calls them a blessing because he is able to sleep in them to stay warm. 

Right now, Thomas and his wife simply need a rental home or apartment. That being said, if someone is willing to rent to them he says that he will not have any problem making the monthly payment and he will be an excellent tenant.

Killing Time

I saw this man sitting on a bench as the day passed by. For some reason, the song "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" came to mind.

"Look like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, yes"

"Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's two thousand miles I roamed
Just to make this dock my home"

-Otis Redding - "(Sittin' On) The Dock Of The Bay"

The song topped the charts in the United States and in the UK, but Redding would never realize the popularity of it.

“(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” was written by Otis Redding and Booker T. & the M.G.'s. guitarist Steve Cropper. Redding wrote a portion of the song while sitting on a house boat the he is rumored to have rented in Sausalito, California.

This was said to be the last hit song that Otis Redding recorded just two days before he died in a plane crash in 1967. The song was not released until 1968.

The charter plane that crashed while carrying the famous soul singer occurred over Madison Wisconsin. In addition to Redding dying in the crash, so were six others. Redding was only 26 when killed. If he were still alive today, the Dawson, Georgia native would have been 76 years old.

The Great Loss

In life, we can’t always look, feel or be perfect. In fact, it is impossible.

Sometimes we lose our friends or our loved ones and we feel buried as if we are the ones lost.

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor even touched, but just felt in the heart.”

— Helen Keller

From Prison to Recovery

A Murfreesboro man by the name of Dustin Keith Brown will be facing the courts on Friday in Rutherford County. However, he will be in court for a more positive reason. 

Brown, who already served time for three felony drug charges and maintaining a dwelling for the use of drugs, will be asking for a reduction in fees and fines. 

While in prison, Brown underwent drug treatment and spent 32 months behind bars. After being released he got a job and has been on the right track. 

“Everything I’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it. ”

— David Foster Wallace, writer

Jimmy + Kathy

Jimmy and Kathy: They have been together for 15 years. Some of those years spent in motels and other years an apartment. Some of their time has been in hospitals while other times have been on the streets. A few ups and a few downs. 15 years. 

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This photo was taken just two days before Jimmy passed away. 

Today I received a phone call from Mrs. Kathy... Jimmy died.

You may recall the photo I posted of the two kissing just two days ago. I took that picture not realizing that would be the last motel they ever check into together.

Shortly after Jimmy died today (2/5/18), I gave that photo to Kathy and she said that she would talk to it tonight while asking if he has really passed away.

While in her motel room Charlie Jenkins from Medical Necessities pulled up and Kathy looked out her window and said, "I called about getting Jimmy's oxygen delivered this morning." I met the man outside their room and told him the news. He asked, "Do you mind if I talk to her?" I invited him inside.

As Charlie entered the room he told her how sorry he was for her loss and then put his hand on her shoulder. She started crying and he said, "I will pray for you." He then said it again, "I will pray for you."

The words that followed were unexpected. He said to Kathy, "I understand what you're going through - loss is hard... " He then told her about the loss of his 7 year old daughter due to cancer.

All loss is sad, but you never know what someone is going through... ever.

“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love. ”

— Max Mülle, (1823-1900) a German-born philologist and Orientalist

Quiet for a minute

Sometimes nothing is best:

I once heard pastor Rick Warren talk about the gift of silence shortly after his son committed suicide. He talked about how hard it was to cope with the pain and loss.

Warren said that some people showed up telling him how sorry they were and how they remembered his son. Others talked about the pain that he and his wife were experiencing, but they didn't need to as the Warrens were in the the grasp of that pain and they knew it well.

The friends who did not speak other than to say they were there - were the most meaningful as no words can fill the void and those friends knew that. The gift of silence in powerful. Warren stated, "The deeper the pain, the fewer words needed."

“But to me nothing, the negative, the empty, is exceedingly powerful.”

— Alan Watts, British philosopher, writer (1915-1973)

Photo captured today... somewhere in the Nashville area.

The "Then" and the "Now" along with the "Future"

A lot of people have seen and talked about the massive mural on an abandoned concrete silo in Nashville, but few take the time to properly jump the fence around it. The mural is in an area that is called “The Nations.”

Let me back up a little… Many people see it, but do they see the side of it that includes two curious children with one reaching for the sky? Do people know why a man is painted on the front or why kids are painted on the side?

Australian artist Guido Van Helten is known around the globe for painting massive portraits that eerily look real. One of his famous pieces is located in an industrial area of Nashville near the old and shut down Tennessee Prison.

On the front of the Nashville silo is 91 year old Lee Estes who is often referred to as LD. He grew up in the area around the massive silo. Mr. Estes is the kind of guy who volunteers to help others, is always walking the block to see what’s going on and more. But, why was he picked and why are two kids on the side of silo?

Mr. Estes represents the neighborhood, or so to speak. He represents the old, the original and the start of the area. Another question would be, “Why are kids on the side?” Simple, Van Helten painted two boys that live in the area to represent the new, the change, the growth of the area known as The Nations.

In case you’re curious, the area around the old prison and the silo is changing in leaps and bounds. Most would agree it is changing for the good. Old homes are being rebuilt while some are being completely replaced. Shut down factories and warehouses are being turned into new businesses. Buildings that were once industrial and now falling apart are being torn down while new condos are going up.

As for artwork, The Nations neighborhood has artwork everywhere. It is well worth the drive to explore. It kinda’ represents the change that we are seeing throughout Middle Tennessee. That change includes an appreciation for art that makes our world look a little nicer.

“Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun. ”

— Pablo Picasso

Helping Kimberly

30 Year old Kimberly Lee and her family are about to lose their apartment in Murfreesboro, TN. Needless to say, she is having a tough time.

In September of 2017 she learned that she has cervical cancer. Doctors told her that she needed to be on medication and have surgery, but to date neither of the two have occurred. Kimberly explained, “It’s so expensive to get help, so I’m not dealing with it.”

She has insurance, but the co-pay is too high for her to make ends meet and pay for the treatment she needs. I asked, “Can you tell it is getting worst,” talking about the cancer. She said, “I can, because when I lay in bed at night – when I lay down – it gets worse and I cramp… everything’s just changing in my body (tears).”

She talked of her childhood and said that she was born into this world as an alcoholic with fetal alcohol syndrome. At age 14 Kimberly and her six siblings were placed into the Tennessee Foster Care system. By 15, she turned to alcohol and eventually aged out of the system only to learn how to live life on her own at 18.

Life was not easy and by 24 she was pregnant with her first child. The following years grew harder and she told me the father of her children abused her . One time was described as a living hell… “He held me down in the garage during the winter and I was naked as he poured cold water on me.” She said there were worse things that she went through as well while swallowing tears.

Twice she went through rehabilitation for addiction, but she failed to address childhood trauma and abuse as an adult. Her past likely has a direct link to her stress, depression and anxiety today.

Most recently, that anxiety got the best of her. Explaining, Kimberly stated, “I actually just got out of the hospital three days ago from having a bunch of mental breakdowns and I went and turned myself in to TrustPoint down here and I stayed for a whole week.” 

Her husband is working extremely hard each day at Nissan to make ends meet, but past medical bills, rehab, apartment rent, utilities and now a repossessed car have taken quite the toll on them. Kimberly said her husband is now paying to get rides into work each day because they lost their car. To add stress to them, an apartment eviction may leave them on the streets while searching for a new place to rent. They have to be out on Sunday (2/4/18).

Currently, her children are staying with a relative in Nashville. Remember, she does not have parents to call on for help like most of us do as she was placed into the foster care system by age 14. Her stepson in high school remains in school locally as the younger children are too young for school and are 6 or under.

I asked what people can do to help and she said,  “You know what, I don’t know – I don’t have an answer for that because I don’t really get help… I don’t get help from nobody.”  

Listen to the interview below: 

Helping Kimberly and her family: 

I had a few ideas of what could be done so I contacted a friend of mine who is a local pastor. He called some friends and now they have the money to make a deposit on a new apartment – if they can get approved for an apartment. I asked if I could name the folks who helped and with a laugh my friend responded, “Sure, tell them a bunch of folks that love Jesus and love how to believe wide open helped!”

I then turned to another friend to get help for treating her cancer, which she shared medical records with me to verify the damage that was found about 5 months ago. The friend I shared that information with just happens to have the exact same OBGYN. But, we don’t have an answer yet on IF medical help is available for her – However I hope to have information on that soon.

Counseling is something else that is needed, which I think I already have someone to call on who will be more than happy to help in a major way.

What can you offer?

• Confirmed help with cervical cancer – Keep in mind she has insurance through Blue Cross, but no money for co-pay. So, do you know of a medical group willing to help?
   
• Gift cards for grocery visits or restaurants would be positive.

Looking back to 2017, Standing Up

Looking back to October of 2017: During a protest held in both Murfreesboro and Shelbyville, TN, those against anyone of color or foreign background showed up in fairly large numbers. I should add, they showed up in Shelbyville, but failed to show up in Murfreesboro after learning the police presence was larger than expected.

Outside of the local square in Murfreesboro, TN some were armed with loudspeakers and were preaching their version of truth. The two women standing in front of the man on the speaker disagreed with what he had to say and they were not timid about standing up against him.

“Develop enough courage so that you can stand up for yourself and then stand up for somebody else.”

— Maya Angelou