With an extended arm he said, “My name is Michael Anthony Fink.” He told me that he has lived in this campsite (Nashville) for the past nine years.
Fink, who is 59, is originally from Pittsburgh. He said that he moved to Tennessee with his parents years ago.
He was in the Navy while living on the West Coast, but later found his way to Clarksville, TN and then to Johnson City and eventually jumped to Nashville where he has lived for the past year.
He lives by himself secluded in the woods and away from people. “I don’t like people,” he told my friend Jerry and I, “I don’t socialize,” he said, but evidently loved conversation with us after we brought him a large pizza and a new sleeping bag.
We sat with him in the woods where he described the beauty around him. “Over there [pointing], I see deer and I can get almost close enough to pet them. [Pointing] There I see fox almost every night.”
Vincent rarely tells people his name and most call him “Guitar man.” Some of those who work in Nashville guitar shops call him “Three Sting Vinny,” because he often has broken strings.
“When I had a friend living with me, an old man, we would stay up all hours of the night listening to the Opry on the radio (Talking about the Grand Old Opry out of Nashville).” “I started to realize that I cared for him when he was not at the camp, I worried when he was gone,” he told us suggesting that he is all human and alone.
“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence.” ― Guitarist Robert Fripp
The little dog jumped around the deck of her small trailer as if it was his first time to ever be outside, even though he has been to the same destination a thousand times over.
“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” - Josh Billings (1818-1885)
Mr. Bobby was once use to being around other people… a lot of people in fact.
He grew up in a home that included 7 siblings. He once lived with his mother in the LaVergne area. After she passed away, he continued to live in the home until it was sold.
Today, he lives in a small and sometimes cold motel room by himself located in Murfreesboro. He told me, “Three of my brothers and sisters died, so now there are only five of us.”
Mr. Bobby has lived his entire life within the 614 square miles of Rutherford County, Tennessee.
“This is how I feel right now
Obsolete manuscript
No one reads and no one needs
Pages lost, incomplete
No one knows what it means”
-Regina Spektor, Obsolete
The lasting impacts of sex abuse on boys is devastating as they age. Especially because most will never admit to it and if they do, it will be when they hit age 40 or even 50.
Daniel who is homeless, but currently jailed for assault charges, has struggled his entire life. He was raped numerous times as a child by another man, but has yet to recover even though he is in his forties today.
He struggles with severe anger at times that seems to come out of nowhere, feelings of no self-worth, a lack of value and more.
Daniel tries to please others as his mind never fully developed after the trauma because his brain was literally re-wired. While that sounds intensely insane to say, it is all proven by medical science.
Children who undergo such traumas at an early age see later in life that their brain acts and reacts differently than those without a background of such trauma.
Just to name a few issues that attack in adulthood:
- Lack of flight or fight response
- Fibromyalgia
- Increased chances of Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Failure to properly rest your mind and body
- Increased allergies (immune system not as strong)
- Unexplained stomach pain
- Increased addiction (70% more likely)
- 70% as likely to commit or attempt suicide
- More than twice likely to have depression
- Increased risk for eating disorders
- Higher risk of general health concerns or problems
- Failed relationships
- Fear of social interaction
- Codependency
- Real life brain damage
- Child sexual abuse victims were almost twice as likely to be arrested for a violent offense as the general population (20.4% versus 10.7%)
- 30% more likely than their non-abused peers to have a serious medical condition such as diabetes, cancer, heart problems, stroke or hypertension.
Medical research has come a long way and the studies on such victims has revealed more than was thought possible.
Child sex abuse on males today as they age into their forties, like Daniel, is compared to some of the worst PTSD reported by military personnel in the midst of seeing the bloodiest battles unfold before their eyes. While it may sound far-fetched, ask a Daniel – there are many Daniel’s in the world.
“Denial forces victims to retreat in lifeless existence, dieing in the shadows of buried trauma and painful memories.” ― Trudy Metzger
He told me that he became homeless shortly after his divorce several years ago. However, his most recent battle started when he twisted his ankle and tore several ligament’s.
“I stepped off the curb down there (pointing towards Murfreesboro Road) and just fell,” he told me. He then said, “I have to have surgery on it.”
A Good Samaritan in Nashville is giving him a ride to the doctor and will be waiting with him while that surgery takes place in the near future.
As he smoked his cigarette while sitting next to his tent he said, “A group came by here the other day and started handing out meals, I noticed I was first in line and realized that I need to be better – I don’t need to be the first.” He then talked about how so many others are in need.
When several men from the Nashville Indian Christian Fellowship offered to pray for him he responded quietly, “I don’t want to take your time, pray for the others here – I take too much.” The men smiled as they placed their hands on his shoulders and started to pray for him.
He said, “I have to work on myself.”
It was 2:00 on a Saturday afternoon in Nashville, Tennessee, but I felt as if I had been transplanted into a third world country, perhaps one that I have posted photos of in the past. The difference, I was in America and more notably, my backyard to some extent:
He stayed in bed, too sick and uncomfortable to get up and talked about how he came to Nashville 32 years ago for his education.
"I have a hernia, two in fact," he said calmly while patting on his abdomen. He spoke clearly as if he was well educated, but noted that life slowly fell apart for him with the combination of drugs, relationships and alcohol.
The small hut he was sleeping in belonged to a friend who was asleep in the next room. "He's asleep in the other room, he let me sleep here," he stated.
My friends from the Nashville Indian Christian Fellowship fed him. He enjoyed the meal as he appeared to have not eaten in at least a day or longer.
The hut was made of discarded pallets, siding from a box truck, old gas station signs, carpet and tarps. No electricity or running water, just makeshift shelter.
The structure sat along a river in what looked to be a floodplain in an area heavily populated by Somalians and Hispanics, neither speaking the same language, but living in peace in nearby camps separated by a creek flowing into the same river.
Charlene Toro reported to Manchester, TN Police that her son went missing this past November. Justin Edward Zeigler is 27 years old and authorities in Coffee County told Mrs. Toro that there has been no activity on her sons cellphone since November, Needless to say, she fears the worst.
Justin was known to use inhalants from spray cans, which is one reason why his mother fears that he could be deceased. However, he was described as a good guy who simply had a bad habit, as many of us do.
For more on this story, see the WGNSradio.com website. I also did an interview with her that can be heard on the WGNS site.
Damian is originally from Mississippi, but is currently living on the streets of Nashville.
When asked how he got the scar on his left cheek he proclaimed, “He got me with a box cutter.” The incident happened during a fight ten years ago in Mississippi.
“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
Some of those on the street suffer from Alzheimer’s, others from a long list of mental illnesses. Often, it is hard to tell what someone suffers from with only a brief encounter.
As he stood in the rain he said that he was in the Revolutionary War and quietly spoke of war times. He then talked about being a slave and being allowed freedom because of good behavior.
He lives on the streets of Nashville, TN and is 67 years old.
Her name is Tina and she has lived in the Smyrna, Tennessee area nearly her entire life. She graduated from Smyrna High School in 1994. From there, she worked at restaurants most of her adult life.
Things greatly changed for her in 2013 when she was deemed to be legally blind. Today Tina can make out colors, but beyond the color things are a blur. Tina has diabetes and with that, the problems with her eyes have only increased.
Tina has Diabetic Retinopathy that affects blood vessels in the light-sensitive tissue called the retina that lines the back of the eye. The complication cannot be cured, but can be treated in some cases. But for Tina, treatment is out of the question with her current heart related problems.
In 2015 she had her first heart attack followed by a second only four months later. In October of 2016, she underwent a quadruple bypass surgery. Quadruple refers to the number of heart arteries that are bypassed.
Tina has 15 and 17 year old sons. They often spend the night with friends leaving mom alone in a motel room. That of course is not entirely bad as there is little money to feed and clothe the boys – plus extra cash to pay up to $1400 per month on a motel stay.
A disability check arrives in Tina’s bank account once monthly, but that check rings in at only $500. So, she can only stay at motels for up to two weeks. Other nights, she depends on shelters and help from friends for a place to rest her head.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart." - Helen Keller, (1880-1968)
I shot this at Hippie Hill in 2015. Nearly a full year later in 2016, this man made the move to California.
While living in California he fell out of the back of a truck during what seemed to be a minor accident. However, during his recovery he came down with pneumonia eventually being hospitalized where he passed away recently.
On the Hill he was called "Breeze." His real name was Jason Kiser.
"Well now, they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
I ain't got me nobody
I don't carry me no load
Ain't no change in the weather
Ain't no changes in me"
-Lynyrd Skynyrd
Chris said that he spent 15 years in the State Penitentiary for a rape that occurred in Lewisburg, Tennessee in 1998. He went in 2 days before Christmas and got out two days before Christmas- exactly 15 years apart.
Like many, the 53 year old calls what was once a hotel, his apartment. That apartment that is his home is called the Casa Blanca.
In the 1950’s the apartment opened as a hotel known as the Holiday Inn. It was one of the first Holiday Inn hotels in America. The hotel turned apartment is on Murfreesboro Pike in Nashville and 90% of the residents today are felons with a good number being on the Sex Offender Registry. However, it is one of the few properties in Davidson County that takes in felons and allows them to live there.
The complex is under the management of a former probation officer by the name of Pauline Spalding. Needless to say, she runs a very tight ship with a gun on one hip and a Taser on the other.
Homeless in Nashville: He told me, “I was in Vietnam… I’m use to the jungle, that’s why I live here.” He said, "I joined the military when I was 17, my parents had to sign off on it."
“Our purpose in Vietnam is to prevent the success of aggression. It is not conquest, it is not empire, it is not foreign bases, it is not domination. It is, simply put, just to prevent the forceful conquest of South Vietnam by North Vietnam.” - Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973), 36th president of the United States
He had a US Navy tattoo on his right hand and he told me, “I was in Panama when Manuel Noriega was captured.” He served in the Navy for thirteen years in the late 1970’s and 1980’s.
History unfolded in 1989 as Noriega was brought down by a team of Navy Seals. After the former leader was taken into custody, he was flown by the US Air Force to America to stand trial for drug trafficking charges, evidently he was bringing drugs into the US while dictating the country of Panama.
As for Johnny, the 54 year old man is wheelchair bound for the most part and lives in a motel that was converted into efficiency apartments. He told me that Hospice services visit him weekly. Johnny said, “I have thyroid cancer and it has gotten too bad.”
In his younger days after the Navy, he was no stranger to trouble. He was arrested multiple times, but that was then and now he is simply making ends meet.
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." - Norman Cousins (1915-1990), American Political Journalist, World Peace Advocate
Wasting time...
“Time is the longest distance between two places.” ― Tennessee Williams (1911-1983), American Playright
He is originally from East Tennessee and told me that he joined the US Marines at age 19 looking for a brighter future when compared to others in his small community. Shortly after boot camp, he said he was sent to Iraq where he spent 8 months starting in 1991.
When Scotty returned to America in about 1992, he was prematurely discharged, but would not elaborate other than to say that the military continues to pay him a little over $200 per month for life. He told me that he found life troubling when returning to the states.
After being released from the Marines, he soon found himself in trouble with the law for attempted rape, felony theft and more. He then spent multiple years behind bars eventually being released in 2010. Scotty has been homeless on and off since his time in Iraq, according to what he told me on Sunday.
He was pushing his wife Betty down Harding Place near Interstate 24 around 9:00 at night. I asked, “Where are you going?” Johnny quietly replied, “McDonalds.”
If you were to look into the lives of those on the street you would often find a life of minor criminal offenses, drug use, signs of alcohol abuse and more. If you only glanced over the surface one might come to the conclusion, “He or she is a bad person.” However, you have to look deeper than the surface to understand that most on the street had a life of tragedy that most of us would not understand. For many, those tragedies and traumas started in their childhood and one traumatic event after the other continued into their adult lives – all events untreated by professional help.
As for Johnny and Betty, they have been married for the past 17 years. They have been each other’s rock throughout those years and have helped each other in many ways.
Last night when I saw the two, Johnny had just dropped off Betty’s prescription for insulin, she is a diabetic. He told me, “I will pick it up tomorrow – it will only be $18 because we have insurance with only a small co-pay.” He then leaned over to me and whispered as if afraid to say it out loud, “She also has breast cancer.”
The two live in a small tent and Johnny showed me a heater they just received from a friend who is part of Open Table Nashville. “See, it attaches to propane tanks and it keeps us warm at night,” he told me while describing how it works. I smiled and asked, “You need some extra propane to stay warm?”
My friend Joel Vernon and I then headed to Walmart and bought six tanks of propane for the two. When we returned and met them at McDonalds, they were full of joy. The smiles cost the us $24, but will keep them warm for six nights. Little Things.
"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort." - Humphry Davy (1778-1829), Cornish chemist and inventor
He moved to Tennessee years ago with his family. Originally, he is from Alabama. I met him as he was walking home on day.
When asked about his mother he said with a smile, “She’s still living, she’s on up there in age.”
There is something beautiful about age. I think the Beatles pinned it best…
“When I get older losing my hair
Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door?
Will you still need me, will you still feed me
When I'm sixty-four?”