At 51, Brenda looks back on her child abuse

One look into her icy blue eyes and you can see her pain from years past.

Today, Brenda is 51 and has turned to alcohol, meth and crack cocaine to heal her wounds, which she may not have fully known existed. She turned to prostitution and was even homeless for multiple years and the trajectory of her life was greatly changed when she was only a kid all because of child sex abuse.

Child sex abuse is a major problem in our community and across the country. The scars from the abuse can last a lifetime and Brenda, who just got into housing through the Murfreesboro Housing Authority, can confirm the pain.

According to the United States Department of Justice, only 30% of sexual assault cases are reported. Brenda was one of the cases that never went to police over 40 years ago. Furthermore, many children wait until adulthood to tell of the abuse, which is often too late as alcoholism, drug abuse and more have already manifested itself in the victim.

As for Brenda, her step father later died and she suggested that she confronted him while he was in the hospital. While he never admitted to it, she said he did apologize.

Listen to the full interview below (7 MIN and 26 SEC):

Some good news in the arrests of perpetrators… In years past, child sex abuse was not as heavily investigated as it is today. In the past, false information was promoted by professionals that children frequently reported false accounts of abuse. Over the years it was realized that such ideas lacked systematic evidence that false allegations are common, according to the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

“The greater a child’s terror, and the earlier it is experienced, the harder it becomes to develop a strong and healthy sense of self.” ― Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

To report suspected child abuse of any kind in Tennessee, call 877-237-0004 and remain anonymous. You can also report suspected abuse online at https://apps.tn.gov/carat/.  

The trauma that sticks for a lifetime

The lasting impacts of sex abuse on boys is devastating as they age. Especially because most will never admit to it and if they do, it will be when they hit age 40 or even 50.

Daniel who is homeless, but currently jailed for assault charges, has struggled his entire life. He was raped numerous times as a child by another man, but has yet to recover even though he is in his forties today.

He struggles with severe anger at times that seems to come out of nowhere, feelings of no self-worth, a lack of value and more.

Daniel tries to please others as his mind never fully developed after the trauma because his brain was literally re-wired. While that sounds intensely insane to say, it is all proven by medical science.

Children who undergo such traumas at an early age see later in life that their brain acts and reacts differently than those without a background of such trauma.

Just to name a few issues that attack in adulthood:

- Lack of flight or fight response
- Fibromyalgia
- Increased chances of Rheumatoid Arthritis
- Failure to properly rest your mind and body
- Increased allergies (immune system not as strong)
- Unexplained stomach pain
- Increased addiction (70% more likely) 
- 70% as likely to commit or attempt suicide
- More than twice likely to have depression
- Increased risk for eating disorders
- Higher risk of general health concerns or problems
- Failed relationships
- Fear of social interaction
- Codependency
- Real life brain damage
- Child sexual abuse victims were almost twice as likely to be arrested for a violent offense as the general population (20.4% versus 10.7%)
- 30% more likely than their non-abused peers to have a serious medical condition such as diabetes, cancer, heart problems, stroke or hypertension.

Medical research has come a long way and the studies on such victims has revealed more than was thought possible.

Child sex abuse on males today as they age into their forties, like Daniel, is compared to some of the worst PTSD reported by military personnel in the midst of seeing the bloodiest battles unfold before their eyes. While it may sound far-fetched, ask a Daniel – there are many Daniel’s in the world.

“Denial forces victims to retreat in lifeless existence, dieing in the shadows of buried trauma and painful memories.” ― Trudy Metzger