LIFE: He grew up in Murfreesboro and has always called it home.
He has never been married... did he ever find that true love? He has never had children... but did he want any?
He was kind and enjoyed our brief conversation. He talked about his school days at McFadden and later Central High School, which is now Central Magnet School.
His brothers... he spoke highly of. He smiled, "Are you taking pictures for a class," he asked me. I then explained to him that I simply photograph people and tell their story.
Next time I see Mr. Haley, I will ask more questions. He has stories to tell and the luxury of time to tell them.
"Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify." - Henry David Thoreau
Magic...
“And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.”
Remember - No Sidelines
No Sidelines: If I were to put his speech into written word, it would illegible.
Perhaps it was a stroke that led to his way of communicating, but the cause is not important. However, it is important that he has not given up... ever.
What is motivational about this man is that he refuses to sit on the sidelines for the remainder of his life. He pushes a shopping cart, struggling to walk up hills while collecting cans to sell as scrap metal.
"You know I'm back like I never left
Another sprint, another step
Another day, another breath
Been chasing dreams,
but I never slept
I'm feeling glorious"
- Glorious by Macklemore
Life is chaos
He is homeless and a U.S. Veteran. For many, life once home equals chaos.
"Soldiers, when committed to a task, can't compromise. It's unrelenting devotion to the standards of duty and courage, absolute loyalty to others, not letting the task go until it's been done."- John Keegan
The relax after the ride
“A man went looking for America and couldn’t find it anywhere” - Easy Rider
Fears of the homeless are real
Ricky suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, which is tough on someone who lives in the woods. However, he is very open about the condition which allows others around him to better understand the issues he may face.
At times, his mind might not agree with reality, which is common in the world of mental illness diagnoses.
One of his strongest fears is that of people trying to hurt him. Of course, we all have that fear from time to time, but our fear depends on the environment. Ricky could be in any environment and have that fear, which is why he keeps the location of his camp secret. He also has his camp set for traps to warn him of unwanted visitors.
He has many ways of coping with the illness that are quite ingenious. He does a lot of reading for not only relaxation, but to learn about his paranoia and to educate himself on a number of topics - including news.
One fear that continues to plague his thoughts involves someone coming into his camp destined to kill him and maybe other homeless living in the vicinity. He described the thought as a serial killer targeting homeless camps.
Up until today I never thought about serial killers targeting homeless areas. In fact, it is something that I have not really heard of. I don’t know if such stories were not covered by the national media or if those things didn’t really happen and Ricky simply created the fear in his head.
Upon researching it, apparently it is a bonafide issue which means real fears for some of our homeless community that reads, researches or looks into crimes against homeless as a means to better protect themselves.
It Really Happens:
In March of 2017, police in Las Vegas used a mannequin dressed as a homeless person as a decoy to lure one killer into their sites. They placed the dummy on the streets in an area where two sleeping homeless men had previously been killed with the notion that the killer would strike again. As luck would have it, Shane Schindler was caught on camera trying to “kill” the decoy. However, he has not been found guilty of killing the two sleeping homeless men as of yet.
A gang that said they were on a "Street cleaning crusade" killed 15 homeless in Moscow, according to reports in June of 2017. One victim was stabbed 171 times while others were struck with hammers.
In 2016, a suspected serial killer was arrested in California after savagely attacking five homeless during five separate events. If police didn’t hear the screams coming from under a San Diego overpass in July of 2016, then Jon David Guerrero could still be killing. Luckily, officers caught Guerrero in the act and he was apprehended. The California native was accused of burning two victims alive and stabbing others.
In 2014, a man by the name of Aeman Presley was accused of killing two homeless men in Atlanta, GA as they slept. He was also accused of killing a third homeless man near Atlanta and a woman who was a hair stylist, but not homeless. While in a Fulton County, Georgia courtroom on January 20, 2017, the now convicted killer said he thought he was “Helping” at least one homeless man by killing him.
A former U.S. Marine stabbed a woman, her son and four homeless men to death to do the community a "Service," according to Orange County court documents from 2012. Itzcoatl “Izzy” Ocampo reportedly stabbed some of the victims up to 60 times. Ocampo killed himself one year later in jail while awaiting to be transferred to a prison.
The above are just a few of the homeless murders that have occurred in recent years. Sad, but true.
“The more you love, the more love you have to give. It's the only feeling we have which is infinite...” ― Christina Westover
Depression strikes the homeless and others - What about medication?
Sadness is something that others may be able to see in someone’s face, but what is behind the eyes only the sufferer knows. However, sadness and depression are quite different.
For example: “Shorty,” who is pictured, was likely sad when he and his girlfriend had a falling out. However, he may or may not have been depressed at the time, but sadness was definitely an emotion he felt. The good news is that sadness passes fairly quickly while depression can stick around for months or even years.
So many of those who live on the street experience deep and often dark depression. While it may start out as something mild in their younger years, it lingers into age and grows deeper into severe depression.
People often confuse mild depression with severe depression, only because they have not experienced such agony themselves. Others suggest that those who are sad simply pull themselves up by their bootstraps, which can’t be done if severe depression is involved. Those who make such suggestions fail to understand or even try to understand the underlying darkness.
Sadness can trigger depression and your chances are also higher if you have family members who have fought depression in the past. Severe illnesses can also lead to depression. Other items that can lead to depression in adult life include being abused as a child (any nature of abuse). In fact, child abuse greatly increases the chances of becoming depressed as an adult.
To help cure depression, doctors often encourage a healthier lifestyle along with medication. But, if you are homeless it is hard to eat right and hit the gym. It is also hard to afford a doctor’s visit, much less pay for medication. But, studies show that medication is important.
The brain is extremely complex, as most realize. Some areas of the brain regulate mood while other areas focus on daily tasks like extending your arm to turn off the alarm clock.
According to a Harvard Health article from 2009, “Areas that play a significant role in depression are the amygdala, the thalamus, and the hippocampus.” A recent study demonstrated how the hippocampus is 9% to 13% smaller in those who are depressed or who have dealt with bouts of depression.
To increase positive moods and decrease depression, the production of new neurons are needed. Doctors will prescribe antidepressants to help boost the number of neurotransmitters, but the medication takes four to six weeks to start working. The extended period of time between the depression and a good mood have to do with neurons growing and forming new connections.
Antidepressants promote the growth of nerve cells in the hippocampus. It takes weeks for that growth to occur, which explains why it takes so long for antidepressants to work. This growth process is called neurogenesis, meaning neuron growth or formation.
As for Shorty… he told me that he came to Tennessee because of a girl. He later said that he went to jail for 7 months because of that same girl. "I caught her with another man," he told me. The woman is now in California.
“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Living with Felons
Chris said that he spent 15 years in the State Penitentiary for a rape that occurred in Lewisburg, Tennessee in 1998. He went in 2 days before Christmas and got out two days before Christmas- exactly 15 years apart.
Like many, the 53 year old calls what was once a hotel, his apartment. That apartment that is his home is called the Casa Blanca.
In the 1950’s the apartment opened as a hotel known as the Holiday Inn. It was one of the first Holiday Inn hotels in America. The hotel turned apartment is on Murfreesboro Pike in Nashville and 90% of the residents today are felons with a good number being on the Sex Offender Registry. However, it is one of the few properties in Davidson County that takes in felons and allows them to live there.
The complex is under the management of a former probation officer by the name of Pauline Spalding. Needless to say, she runs a very tight ship with a gun on one hip and a Taser on the other.
Johnny Navy
He had a US Navy tattoo on his right hand and he told me, “I was in Panama when Manuel Noriega was captured.” He served in the Navy for thirteen years in the late 1970’s and 1980’s.
History unfolded in 1989 as Noriega was brought down by a team of Navy Seals. After the former leader was taken into custody, he was flown by the US Air Force to America to stand trial for drug trafficking charges, evidently he was bringing drugs into the US while dictating the country of Panama.
As for Johnny, the 54 year old man is wheelchair bound for the most part and lives in a motel that was converted into efficiency apartments. He told me that Hospice services visit him weekly. Johnny said, “I have thyroid cancer and it has gotten too bad.”
In his younger days after the Navy, he was no stranger to trouble. He was arrested multiple times, but that was then and now he is simply making ends meet.
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." - Norman Cousins (1915-1990), American Political Journalist, World Peace Advocate
Wasting time on a Sunday
Wasting time...
“Time is the longest distance between two places.” ― Tennessee Williams (1911-1983), American Playright
Nicaragua and Oppression
Nicaragua sits between the Pacific Ocean and the Caribbean Sea. It is a land filled with smiling faces mixed with oppression. This photo was shot in a busy market in Nicaragua.
People
Street Photography
The Original Spoonman from 1957
William Boyd, who is almost 70 years old, performs on the streets almost nightly. He plays real silver spoons that he stashes away in his bag when he retires for the night. In fact, he even has a fork that he plays.
He has called the long term recovery program at the Room In the Inn of Nashville home for the past 3 years and is overwhelmingly thankful for it. Prior to that, he was on crack. But, he has been clean from that bondage for 9 years now.
Before he sought help, he was in and out of jail for a number of offenses that included alcohol and theft. However, that is no longer an issue as he has found his path… Making others smile. To do that, he sings and plays his silver spoons.
Boyd is 67 now, but he started playing the spoons, forks and butter knives in 1957 at age 8. His mother took him around town when he was a child to sing or play the spoons at different locations throughout Tennessee.
He still has a goal… to get noticed and get into the music business. He said three times, “I’m on YouTube – look me up.” He says, “I haven’t given up that dream, I still want to be a singer.”
“Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird, That cannot fly.” ― Langston Hughes (1902-1967)
The Kidney Donation
What is the definition of a hero? Good question. The Webster Dictionary defines a hero as “A person who is admired for great or brave acts or fine qualities.”
Today I met 24 year old Benito Cabrera, who is a graduate of Siegel High School in Murfreesboro, TN. He told me that he will be donating his kidney to his younger sister Jasmine Goolesby on May 17, 2016. Evidently, other family members and friends were not a match.
Cabrera stated, “I’ll be donating my kidney to my sister and helping her enjoy her young life. She’s 23 years old. Everywhere she goes people talk to her and ask her about her sickness. She’s real open about it. She’s really happy as a person, even to this day. She is also doing dialysis three times a week, about 6 to 7 hours a day, but somehow works around it working 40 plus hours a week.”
As the kidney donation date nears, Cabrera and his sister are trying to raise enough money to cover expenses while in the hospital and while in recovery and unable to work. If you want to help, visit GofundMe.com/jewfz82c.
I would say that Benito Cabrera matches the definition of a hero.