Sober and Alive

Sobriety is a big thing in the lives of many. Others simply don’t understand the struggle.

Thomas Jefferson, yes… that is his real name, understands the reality of the struggle, but noted that it gets easier and easier over time. Thomas has been sober for eleven years. He once lived under a bridge during his drinking days, but those days are long behind him. Today he has his own place.

A tattoo of rosary beads and a cross wrapped around his right hand reminds him of his mother who was a devout Catholic. A bear claw necklace is around his neck along with a cougar tooth weaved into his hair. Both are from Indian mythology with the cougar being legendary to the Seminoles and the Shawnee tribes. The Pueblo tribes saw the cougar as a directional guardian. As for the bear claw, it represented a protector and symbolized courage, physical strength and leadership among Indians.

“I personally believe this: We have only today; yesterday's gone and tomorrow is uncertain. That's why they call it the present. And sobriety really is a gift... for those who are willing to receive it.” ― Ace Frehley, former lead guitarist and founding member of the rock band Kiss

Walking the streets

His cheeks were sunken in, his body frail. It looked as if he had not had a square meal in weeks if not months.

Howard was first sentenced to prison on January 20, 1981. He was later released on parole, but found himself in and out of trouble. Today, he wanders the streets of Nashville in search of change at the age of 57.

“Why did you do to get sentenced to prison,” I asked. “I killed four men in a poker game,” he told me. When I asked him to describe what happened he simply responded, “They cheated me.” I asked, “Do you still play poker?” He told me no with a slight smile. I then asked him, “Do you still kill people?” With a laugh he said, “No, I learned my lesson.”

“I want to quit drinking, I’m tired of this,” he said while looking down at the cracks in the sidewalk. It was as if he and I were the only two on the streets talking. “I’m ready for rehab,” he said with a disappointing frown. I gave him the phone number of a rehab center that offers scholarships for the homeless. He took the number and calmly walked away as if he were about to cry. "I'll call tomorrow," he said when he left.

“Addiction is the primary way people escape the modern world. Unfortunately, it is destroying the modern world.” ― Christyl Rivers

In Nashville Four Days

He stated: “I use to live in New Orleans, but had to move after the hurricane. Then, I moved to Galveston, Texas, but later had to find somewhere else after that place flooded. I’ve been in Nashville for four days now because I heard work was here. I think I may have landed a job come Monday.” 

He told me how he wanted a Sprite. So, I got him one along with some cookies. Small things. 

The General Jackson

The famous General Jackson Showboat in Nashville goes up and down the Cumberland River on a regular basis. It has long represented Music City and is somewhat a museum piece. The riverboat has a full stage and auditorium inside with shows that are sometimes scheduled three times a day.

The views from the massive boat are none other than amazing if you love water and the picturesque shores of Nashville. But, how much do you know about the boat?

The name “General Jackson” came from a riverboat that was built in 1817 and named after Andrew Jackson, the seventh president of the United States (1829-1837).

Jackson was born in the South Carolina area in 1767. By the age of 13, Jackson was captured by British troops during the American Revolutionary War. At the time of capture, Jackson was a courier. The capturing of the young boy likely gave him perspective later in life as he was said to have been mistreated by the British before being let go. Not much has been written about that mistreatment so the extent is unknown.

Jackson went on to become a lawyer and elected to hold a Congressional Office in the House of Representatives and twice holding office in the U.S. Senate.

In 1801 he called Tennessee home and was appointed as Colonel of the Tennessee militia. He was quite wealthy at the time and owned what we call today, the Hermitage Plantation. Hundreds of slaves were owned by Jackson.

He became famous during the War of 1812, which was a time where he defeated the men who troubled him as a youth… The British. During the Battle of New Orleans Jackson and his troops had an overwhelming victory over the main British Invasion Army.

Jackson later ran for president in 1824 and won.

Back to the boat named General Jackson that travels up and down the Cumberland River today (2016)… The boat was built for Opryland Theme Park in 1985. When the theme park closed in 1997, the boat remained active and is still an attraction today.

The boat is 77 feet tall and has a 7 foot deep draft. It is 274 feet long and 63 feet wide. It can hold 1200 passengers and has a crew of 157 men and women. Its top speed is 13 miles per hour. All of those numbers are quite impressive for a riverboat.

The massive riverboat is powered by two Caterpillar diesel engines and two General Electric 600 horsepower electric motors that push a 36 foot wide paddlewheel.

The boat is docked outside of Opry Mills. The river is about 15 to 25 feet deep where the Jackson is moored. The average roundtrip for tourist in the boat is only 14 miles. However, the Cumberland River has 381 miles of navigable waters from Kentucky to the Ohio River.

"I was born for a storm, and a calm does not suit me." – Andrew Jackson 

Judge me not

“Judge tenderly, if you must. There is usually a side you have not heard, a story you know nothing about, and a battle waged that you are not having to fight.” ― Traci Lea LaRussa

He said to me, “I’m from Hohenwald, Tennessee, but, I’ve been all over the place.”

“Man, I’m not asking people for money, I just need food in my belly,” he told me while rubbing his stomach.

I sat down next to him looking up at the passerby’s and could not help but to notice the need for everyone to avoid eye contact. The pedestrians were doing this with everyone – not just those who were sitting on the sidewalk anxious to eat, to drink, to pill, to snort or whatever they felt they needed to fill that empty hole in their heart.

The funny thing is… if funny is even the right word, the pedestrians were on an equal mission to fill that empty hole. Some drunk, some high, others on a spending spree.  I think at times that I too am trying to feel that empty hole.

What bothers me is the judging that takes place day after day. I see it more and more today than in my past. Perhaps age has opened my eyes? Situations? Life?

I am judged daily by others, I hear the gossip and it is not kind. I see the looks, etc.

If you are reading this, I bet you hear hurtful talk about yourself at times. The question is… what do you do when you hear it? React or smile with a slight laugh? I guess what we should do is care less and less about what others say and keep living, but we are human.

As for this man I photographed, the judging has likely led to a lack of help by family, friends and those who have yet to meet him. He currently lives in a tent located near the Cumberland River in Nashville within a small community of campers who also feel similar pain.

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect -and I don't live to be- but before you start pointing fingers... make sure your hands are clean!” ― Bob Marle

one of the coolest quotes that ended with much history still being made was a quote by Ferruccio Lamborghini. Ferruccio was the man behind the legendary cars made in Italy.

Ferruccio Lamborghini stated:

"'You know how to drive a tractor, but you’ll never learn to drive a Ferrari' - If Enzo Ferrari hadn't made that crack - one day early in the 1960's when I was complaining for the nth time about the insoluble clutch problems I was havingwith his car, I might never have built my Lamborghinis." - Ferruccio Lamborghini

Lamborghini’s first car to roll off the production line was the 1963 V-12 350 GTV. He was 47 at the time. In 1993 he died at the age of 76.

Chief asked, "Do you believe in Jesus?"

Originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Eddie said that he came to Tennessee to be warmer. “Man, February is usually when it gets a little bit warmer, but not this year,” he explained.

“I polish semi-truck wheels, that’s what I do to make money… I have my polish with me,” he said proudly. “I enjoy polishing wheels, I make them look new,” he further stated.

Eddie, who goes by the nickname of “Chief” due to his Indian heritage, asked my friend Jerry, “Do you believe in Jesus?” He asked after Jerry handed him a brand new coat and his buddy a six man tent. Jerry told him yes and then Chief explained how he had just prayed for warmer clothes and then we showed up.

Chief’s friend held his new tent in the air looking at his two homeless buddies and said, “Brother we got a house!”

Melody Beattie, an author of self-help books on codependent relationships stated, “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.”