A sex offender by the name of James who lives in Middle Tennessee will soon find himself behind bars after violating his probation. He told us that he will likely spend the next six years in a small cell because of his actions.
James, whose last name I agreed not to use, said that more needs to be done in rehabilitating offenders. He further suggested that more needs to be done for those who are victims of sex abuse and treatment should be readily available.
The man whom I spoke to said that he was sexually abused by at least three adults as a child and the abuse was long term. As he grew older he never told anyone about the abuse and he levitated towards pornography.
Many victims of sexual abuse turn to drugs, alcohol, sex addiction or pornography as opposed to seeking help, so his addiction was not uncommon. That addiction later turned more dark as he started to have a fascination with child pornography. With his addiction in mind he went to his church for help... However, the church basically shewed James away which grew his appetite for pornography.
After a separation from his wife and a lack of anyone to turn to, his addiction turned into real children, which was his next step. Luckily, he was arrested before real children came face to face with his pain.
Today James wants to be a voice for the abused and the accused so that others can get proper help before it is too late.
While sitting in the California San Quentin State Prison he wrote:
How have I been so blind for so long? How did I ever think… ever conceive… that I understood your Grace?
I thought it a flickering candle, but have found it as strong and blinding as the sun.
I looked at it as an ember, a glowing coal of warmth. Instead, I’ve felt its inferno, roaring, raging, consuming me.
When I have said that your Grace is sufficient for me, I mistook it to be sufficient like a crust of bread thrown to a starving man. Enough to live on, but no more.
Instead, I find it as sufficient as the oceans are to fill a cup. The deserts to give a grain of sand or the forest to supply a single leaf.
For yours is an extravagant sufficiency.
Forgive me, Lord, for the sin of pride of thinking that your Grace could be understood. I could no sooner capture sunlight in my hands or the winds within my arms. I am so grateful that I do not have to rationalize your Grace to receive it, or comprehend it to be covered by it.
Thank you, Lord, for showing me just how little that I really understand. I can’t wait to spend my lifetime discovering how much I didn’t know.